To my surprise, two thirds of the ladies in attendance came to the workshop to learn how to improve their relationships, not necessarily to learn how to date. The participants were all women in their thirties. They felt much empowered in their relationships with men. They were saying things like “If I really don’t like a guy but I can’t get rid of him at a party, I ask him for his number and I never call him.” “Do you ask for the phone number a man you do like?” I asked. “Yes, of course, and I don’t hesitate to call him first. Assuming that I really like him,” came the answer. Vaguely I remembered that this exact type of behavior was the source of much distress for women not so long ago, when men were doing this to them.
The most interesting topics of discussion were:
What are you looking for in a man? The women answered that they are looking for a good companion, a good sex partner, someone to make them laugh and brighten their lives, someone to witness their growth without staying in their way… As they were speaking, I was listening in complete awe. It was so amazing that young women today are so confident, that they no longer dream to marry someone for “security” or “to start a family,” like ten or twenty years ago, when most women were staying-home-wives and their highest purpose in life was to have children, cook and clean. These women graduated college for about ten years and were used to taking care of themselves, making their own money, paying their own bills and rent. Their idea of a partner or husband was to have someone to enjoy their lives with. What a stark contrast from their mother’s generation. Gentlemen, beware! The criteria to get and keep a girlfriend have been upgraded. The standard has been increased. Being rude and rough is no longer in fashion. I don’t know whether the ladies participating in this workshop were the voice of their generation, or just a small group, whether they were representative of the girls their age or only of the girls their age and living in big cities. But the way they were looking at relationships and romance was certainly empowering.
Bora Bora: huts, lagoon and Mount Otemanu